Friday, October 2, 2009

The Original Muscle Growth Lovin' Femme


I love any response or appreciation to this blog that I can get, but the letters I most appreciate are from fellow femmes with a tooth for beefcake. I guess part of the reason I started this blog in the first place was to get in touch with a few and then say, "hey, I'm not crazy!"

I would estimate that any given time, at least 5 to 20 or so regular readers of muscle growth story websites like www.musclegrowth.org at any given time are women. Some of them keep their gender vague and others out-and-out pretend to be gay men, which has a libidinous element in and of itself for some, I suppose, the "yaoi" factor at work.


I speak from personal experience here because I used to do that very thing! Come to think of it (and this sounds like such a silly thing to be proud of) I was much, much better at pretending to be a guy than anything, as opposed to the usual "chick with a dick" gaypersonator. I suppose it's my brassy personality, or the little bit of the male brain in me thanks to my bisexuality.

At any rate, I really don't have much in the way of a right to call myself the Muscle Lovin' Femme. Why, compared to Jayne Mansfield, I'm a downright poser!

At any rate, in terms of femmes with a tooth for beefcake, the greatest has to be Jayne Mansfield, the only person that in real life that already looks like a zaftig drag queen version of herself.


Supposedly she had an IQ of 163, but our only source on that is Jayne herself. In showbiz, the most misleading of all statistics are the kind provided by stars themselves.

(I'm a little shy on giving any kind of statistic for myself, but I personally was a MENSA member for a few months. At least until I realized that I was basically paying dues to allow socially awkward older men to hit on me.)

After seeing a few of her movies and interviews, I find it a little ridiculous Jayne is that smart, which means one of two things: she either exaggerated her intelligence to be taken seriously...or she's so darn good at playing the ditzy blonde that a genius level intelligence would actually be underestimating her!

Incidentally, I was in fact a fifties blond bombshell for Halloween a few years ago, and the shade of blonde haircolor necessary to get the Jayne Mansfield/van Doren/Marylin look is actually called (I swear I am not making this up) "Playful Minx."


Anyway, Jayne Mansfield made it no secret that she was crazy for muscle guys. She always purred that she loved "big, strong men" and in real life was a regular at Mae West's bump n' grind physique revues. It was at one of these that she met and married former Mr. Universe and Mr. America Mickey Hargitay. Here was one of the trio of 50s blonde Bombshells that had the world at their feet, and she could have gone with any guy in the world, and she went with a good looking former Mr. Universe.

Ha ha! You go, Jayne!

It's no wonder Jayne found him irresistable. He was tall, good looking, and had that craaazy Danny Kaye style wavy hair.

Their offspring is Mariska Hargitay, of Law and Order: SVU fame. She became neither a sex symbol or a bodybuilder, so I guess that's one big strike against nature over nurture right there.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Saw movies with Jayne Mansfield and she was really sexy.Mickkey Hargitay was a very handsome man. Now Mariska hargitay is simply beautiful. Forgive me the fan of Jayne but Mariska is much prettier than her mother. (I speak of facial beauty. It does not do sexy genre, or needs. Mariska is perfect.

Esperanto Grrl said...

I don't really watch Law and Order SVU, so I can't really comment, but Mariska Hargitay has her fans, and she is obviously very talented, sophisticated or attractive and didn't need to go the bottle-blonde route like Mama did.

ARCHEON said...

I always thought the 20th century "original" was Mae West? ;-)

But I'll never forget Jayne in the movie, "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?"

Life imitating art?

Esperanto Grrl said...

ARCHEON -

Mae West is one of my favorite movie stars ever, along with "It Girl" Clara Bow. How can I feel otherwise about the first person in history to say "is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

I always had a feeling there was something invented about Mae West's sexpot persona. Which is not to say she was secretly a lesbian or something...if you spend your professional career surrounding yourself with muscular guys bumping n' grinding there's got to be at least something there for you.

But I remember a great modern-day interview with former craggy faced muscle movie star Gordon Mitchell, where he talked about how Mae West wanted everyone to think she was makin' love to all the fellas as a part of the revue.

Now Jayne, she talked the talk and walked the walk - she actually married a muscle guy. Even my gal friends that aren't into muscle guys as much as I am nonetheless are impressed by Mickey.