Friday, October 2, 2009

The Original Muscle Growth Lovin' Femme


I love any response or appreciation to this blog that I can get, but the letters I most appreciate are from fellow femmes with a tooth for beefcake. I guess part of the reason I started this blog in the first place was to get in touch with a few and then say, "hey, I'm not crazy!"

I would estimate that any given time, at least 5 to 20 or so regular readers of muscle growth story websites like www.musclegrowth.org at any given time are women. Some of them keep their gender vague and others out-and-out pretend to be gay men, which has a libidinous element in and of itself for some, I suppose, the "yaoi" factor at work.


I speak from personal experience here because I used to do that very thing! Come to think of it (and this sounds like such a silly thing to be proud of) I was much, much better at pretending to be a guy than anything, as opposed to the usual "chick with a dick" gaypersonator. I suppose it's my brassy personality, or the little bit of the male brain in me thanks to my bisexuality.

At any rate, I really don't have much in the way of a right to call myself the Muscle Lovin' Femme. Why, compared to Jayne Mansfield, I'm a downright poser!

At any rate, in terms of femmes with a tooth for beefcake, the greatest has to be Jayne Mansfield, the only person that in real life that already looks like a zaftig drag queen version of herself.


Supposedly she had an IQ of 163, but our only source on that is Jayne herself. In showbiz, the most misleading of all statistics are the kind provided by stars themselves.

(I'm a little shy on giving any kind of statistic for myself, but I personally was a MENSA member for a few months. At least until I realized that I was basically paying dues to allow socially awkward older men to hit on me.)

After seeing a few of her movies and interviews, I find it a little ridiculous Jayne is that smart, which means one of two things: she either exaggerated her intelligence to be taken seriously...or she's so darn good at playing the ditzy blonde that a genius level intelligence would actually be underestimating her!

Incidentally, I was in fact a fifties blond bombshell for Halloween a few years ago, and the shade of blonde haircolor necessary to get the Jayne Mansfield/van Doren/Marylin look is actually called (I swear I am not making this up) "Playful Minx."


Anyway, Jayne Mansfield made it no secret that she was crazy for muscle guys. She always purred that she loved "big, strong men" and in real life was a regular at Mae West's bump n' grind physique revues. It was at one of these that she met and married former Mr. Universe and Mr. America Mickey Hargitay. Here was one of the trio of 50s blonde Bombshells that had the world at their feet, and she could have gone with any guy in the world, and she went with a good looking former Mr. Universe.

Ha ha! You go, Jayne!

It's no wonder Jayne found him irresistable. He was tall, good looking, and had that craaazy Danny Kaye style wavy hair.

Their offspring is Mariska Hargitay, of Law and Order: SVU fame. She became neither a sex symbol or a bodybuilder, so I guess that's one big strike against nature over nurture right there.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Come visit my new science blog, "Daughter of Hypatia"


If there's one thing that I love, it's science and science blogging!

Visit Daughter of Hypatia, my new science-themed blog. It's pro-science and anti-bullshit. (Oooh, that's good! I've got to make that a header or something...)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Daniel Dae Kim



I've made no secret on this blog that I'm a big, big fan of Daniel Dae Kim from Lost, even though the show itself lost my interest with this recent season.

Personally, I find the emphasis on time travel to be absolutely goofy and made a monkey out of what I always thought was the series's best and most unique characteristic, the Twin Peaks subtlety with which the supernatural and fantasy elements were handled.

"That's what all of them had been building towards? Time travel? Seriously?"



My critiques of the show aside, Daniel Dae Kim is a male Selma Hayek, an actor that Hollywood just doesn't know what to do with. I think he has the potential to be a great villain or hero.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Bodybuilders in Good Korea

One thing that's always interested me is how muscle revues in other countries involve a lot of state-trained athletes who have a lot of skill with agility, flexibility, acrobatics and dance...witness the Las Vegas beefcake show that featured Russian muscle hunk Denis Sergovisky that showed a lot more than just the usual bump and grind but also had tumbling and other displays of astonishing athleticism.



One thing that's always fascinated me is the view of bodybuilding and body image in other parts of the world, and this great vid of a pair of bodybuilders on a variety show in "Good Korea" is absolutely fascinating and sexy, and a direction the sport of bodybuilding should go: bodies as living artwork, to the point their very movements become a thing a beauty indistinguishable from dance, combined with displays of athleticism, agility and strength.

I say all this despite the fact the kitschy production makes Sabado Gigante look like a paragon of dignity and restraint, and the bright colors and loud pop-up text gave me a gigantic migraine after watching it for more than five minutes. Despite all of this, I don't think I've ever seen muscular physiques presented quite so attractively as here. The uninteresting to watch "slab of meat" bodybuilding competitions have a lot to answer for.

It's easy to look at the Koreans as less sophisticated than us in the West because they're obviously blown away by muscles of any kind, ooohing and ahhhing over the muscled couple. But I doubt a reaction on a Western series would be any different, either. Comic books aside, we're just no more used to huge physiques than the Good Koreans are. Come to think of it, even Beowulf's CGI bod was pretty subdued compared to those of the sixties real-life musclemen, and in 1949, Steve Reeves was refused the part of Samson in Samson and Delilah because he was so big the audience just wasn't used to his kind of bod.

One of the more interesting moments (in addition to a neat leverage trick shown near the end) is when they ask our male bodybuilder to slip a piece of paper and grip it between his pecs. Audience members, particularly female ones, looked on in fascination and what was funniest to me (blink and you miss it!) was one older sister or mother who tried to cover the eyes of the young teen next to her when our guy did his feat of strength! It reminds me of why 19th Century carnival strongmen started to wear their distinctive posing costumes, as it was believed the sight of flexing male bodies might cause women viewers to faint.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I Don't Remember Lemuria!

The John Cleves Symmes post got a good response, and so I thought I might devote some words to another idea at the fringe that time has discarded, as well as an interesting piece of forgotten Americana.

What was the Shaver Mystery? Oh brother, where to even begin…it was a mass movement that was one of the great controversies in the early days of science fiction fandom.

William Shaver was an indigent construction worker with what today looks like a clear-cut case of late-onset paranoid schizophrenia. While at a construction site he claimed the magnetic coil of a drill caused him to experience a vivid hallucination of a torture session at the center of the earth, and periodically he received hidden telepathic messages and even claimed that other mentalities, including one from 24,000 years ago, took control of his body periodically.

The jist of what Shaver came up with was that, thousands of years ago, the Titans, a superhuman race of giants, came to earth and created humans as a ro-race, “ro” meaning designed for work. Because of contamination from our sun, which causes aging and death, the Titans left the earth, leaving behind both their human creations and their wondrous cavern civilizations filled with machinery. The beings that remained in the caverns, the dero (short for destructive robots) took control of the Titans’ machinery because the solar poisons in their brains made them insane, and then used them to destroy all other life. Because of machines like telaugs and telepathy spy-rays, they periodically observe our thoughts from their secret caverns and place in us evil compulsions and aberrant behavior. They also spoke a hidden language called Mantong, evidence of which can be found everywhere as a root language spoken at the dawn of time.

Right here with William Shaver, we have almost all the elements of classic, almost textbook-precise schizophrenia:


  • Irrational terror of poisons and contamination, especially in food and water;
  • Themes of paranoia about hidden evil and conspiracy;
  • Vivid hallucinations;
  • Enemies that can observe a person’s thoughts and place evil compulsions;
  • An obsession with identification of patterns;
  • Figures that periodically take over a person’s body.

Because he had a little more panache than the average schizophrenic, apparently Ray Palmer, for reasons we can never understand, published “I Remember Lemuria!” in Astounding after rewriting Shaver’s crazed, energetic prose.

Read “I Remember Lemuria!” here.


Now here’s where it gets really weird.

Apparently, the publication of this story in 1940 started a wave of mass-hysteria, where dozens wrote in to confirm elements of Shaver’s story and to say they had similar experiences! What. The. Hell.

As a Psychology masters student, I took a special course exclusively on the identification and treatment of schizophrenia. One of the things we’re taught to identify are “ray” delusions. In many neighborhoods there is usually a person that has the typical profile of being isolated and elderly who experiences the delusion that someone, usually a neighbor, is observing their activities with a spy beam and hitting them with a ray that causes hair and teeth to fall out, food to be poisoned, milk to sour and meat to rot. No wonder something like the Shaver Mystery would really resonate.

Shaver Mystery clubs started to spring up all over the country, and Ray Palmer devoted much of Amazing Stories just to Shaver Mystery content. In other words, the Shaver Mystery became a mass hysteria that would eventually only be eclipsed by the UFO phenomenon, for which the Shaver Mystery paved the way. Worse, because Mystery-related stories were profitable, everybody was pushing Shaver for more Mystery content, especially his publisher, Ray Palmer.

Of all the people involved in the Shaver Mystery, Ray Palmer comes off as the least sympathetic. Harlan Ellison once backed Ray Palmer into a corner and got the editor to admit that he personally never believed a lick of it but it sold magazines. Palmer wanted Shaver to continually revisit his hallucinations so his magazine could make money, an “enabler” that exploited a crazy person and prevented him from getting healthy. Worse, there were all these fervent cultists of the Shaver Mystery that defend him unto death. Because of that, Shaver never had anyone in his life that told him how things really were, and there’s something sad about that.

In the meantime you get prose that’s just awkward and sloppy, like this…

They understood concept, and I came to realize that concept had become a frozen thing on Mu by comparison. The Nortans used the truth, for it was the right conceptual attack. Evil has no concept; it is a mad robot to detrimental force. When Evil has power and men must obey or die, then only is it to be feared. But sometimes men fight for Evil unknowingly.

I read the book, and I still have no idea what this means.

Or, looks obviously repetitive and insane to the point of meaninglessness, like this…

The direct need for a greater future for man is strengthening of the general mind by T forces, the growth of a better brain. No progress is truly progress unless man grows a better brain to grow a better brain. That is the pattern of progress—to grow a growth to grow, etc.

…and that’s just what we could read after Palmer edited them extensively!

In fact, I remember reading that Palmer cut out particularly weird and sexually deviant elements from Shaver’s manuscripts, like the obvious S&M of the Dero slave lairs, not to mention uncomfortable, weird stuff like (supposedly) the life machines that cause a woman’s pubic hair to grow three feet long. Palmer once had to excise a 50-page sex scene!

Not only that, but Shaver might have been one of history’s first recorded furries, in the pre-Don Bluth era. The hero’s girlfriend, “Jane” to his “Tarzan,” is a half-human girl with hooves and a luxurious tail that Shaver’s hero thinks is the sexiest feature on earth.

To his credit, however, Shaver was an apt pupil under Palmer with a sincere desire to improve, and the later Shaver Mystery stories were considerably more polished and professional. He did get better, but brother, this stuff was bad.

Having actually read the Shaver Mystery stories, the thing that jumps at me immediately is that they seem like perfectly serviceable, space opera stories where, like many other works of science fiction in the period, you can identify the geneology of its ideas (for instance the race of blonde telepathic giants and cave civilizations with secret knowledge comes from Bulwer-Lytton). Claiming that they’re true or once happened is as laughable as slapping “BASED ON A TRUE STORY” tag on the Star Wars movies.

There’s nothing in there that wouldn’t be able to be produced by someone working in the pulp magazines of the 1940s. It’s almost like reading the always-wrong Immanuel Velikovsky: there’s nowhere I can point to something and say, “a-ha, he anticipated something that someone from that era shouldn’t have been able to predict.”

Besides, this stuff is all too “fifties” to be a real look at an actual culture of the distant past. I mean, God help me…every time I pictured the characters, I imagined them dressed very much like Zap Brannigan from Futurama. The worst is the villain Lord Sathanas, who is too much of a cackling cartoon character, too much of a low-rent Ming the Merciless, to ever make anyone entertain the notion he ever really lived. Ultimately, I think that’s what ended the Shaver Mystery and its various clubs: it was far too "fifties" to be taken seriously, and crank theories are required to keep up with the times. Eventually, it was eclipsed by the UFO phenomenon that ironically, the Shaver Mystery played a role in creating.

Incidentally, Richard Shaver is often given credit for being the “inventor” of the UFO, just like Raymond L. Wallace is the creator of Bigfoot. I simply don’t see it. Much ado has been made of the “rollats” used as travel in the cave world as the prototype flying saucer, but my reading of the story shows them as nothing more than a glorified future space-car of the sort the Jetsons use; to compare vehicles of this sort to "flying saucers" is like calling Chinese "dragons" after their Western brethren: despite the nonexistent similarities, they're both called by the same name erroneously. In fact, in I Remember Lemuria! the actual means for interplanetary travel are the usual forties Flash Gordon-esque penisrockets.

Friday, September 18, 2009

More Dennis Newman


After all, 6' and 245 pounds is far too big to squeeze into just one post, isn't it?

This one, for some reason, I find amusing. I've seen lots and lots of pics of artificially tanned bodybuilders. Heck, I think I've seen more orange skin than Tropicana. But for some reason this one stands out. I mean, was skin bronzer technology significantly less advanced in 1992? He looks like he's cosplaying as the carrot monster from Lost In Space.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Un-Swayziest Day in History



Someone I had a crush on as a teenager is dead, which means that once again, all of you have to hear about it!

Dirty Dancing is the ultimate slumber party movie and its role in the culture can't be denied. Patrick Swayze was a dirty, intense beast, and my Dad, like nearly every Dad I know, hated him and was extremely upset I got into that movie all the while Mom looked on knowingly (she "got it" and Dad didn't). What's amazing is, with the death of John Hughes a month ago, it's like everyone associated with the slumber party film is dying off. I hope that the lady from Flashdance or Anthony Michael Hall are aware the Icy Scythe of Death is inexorably heading their way.

While writing this entry I was surprised to see he wasn't in Big Trouble in Little China, also called Big Redneck in Little China. It was such an utterly Swayzesque part I was amazed it wasn't him, as I remember, and I'll bet anything the script was written for him.

Some mention should be made of Roadhouse, which was so dead-on that it's totally sincere. The catch phrases from that movie have to be heard to be believed like "It's my way or the highway" or "You're my new Saturday night babe!"

I've wondered why it is that a lot of the movies my generation considers important such as the Hughes teenager movies, Dirty Dancing, Footloose, Flashdance, etc. and on the boys' aisle, Back to the Future, Terminator and Raiders of the Lost Ark, were made in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties.


Then it occurred to me: this was the beginning of the current era of movies, centered on the idea of the blockbuster and the big opening weekend. No wonder people of my generation have never heard of any movie before Jaws; Jaws was the beginning of the current moviegoing experience.