What's better than a big dick?

I'll admit: I'm a size queen. I love a guy that's really well-grown down there, a virile, massive, brickhard all-meat fantasticock that quivers inside me and can split me in half. I could drain a thing like that dry. I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world, but I've got desire and stamina and I could suck the chrome off a bumper.

Take for instance, the supersized Mukhtar Safarov, half-Russian, half-Brazilian, who is 9 inches around and 9 inches long. See, this I like, because how long it is isn't as important to me as how THICK it is. And Mukhtar...wow. Looks like he could drape his foreskin over a doorknob.

Well endowed? +6!

Plucked Eyebrows? -7! Sorry Mukhtar, you look like Right Said Fred. Get rid of it, you'll be really hot.

One thing:

"Mukhtar prefers the company of women opposed to gay men. Like many gay or bi men who have self-respect and a fantastic physique, the company of other gay men can usually be intimidating, intrusive, callous and frankly centered around them getting into your pants."

YES, ha ha! I knew it. In your face, everybody! You were just using all those guys to get to me, weren't you, oh mighty Plucked Eyebrowed One?

Still, though: has he ever BEEN with any women? Good God, we're just as callous as the cattiest gay men you could meet. Still, it's nice to know that even MEN are occasionally turned off by the immature, horndog antics of men.

Still, there are lots of things better than a Big Dick. It's nice to have, but it would not make the Top Ten list of most desirable sexual features, at least for me.

For me, it would be much better for a guy to have a big tongue - a lengthy, stretchy one you wonder how he keeps all of it inside his mouth, that is as wide as a doberman, and he can twirl in you like a miniature cyclone. Take this guy, for instance: