Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Sexiest Bodybuilders of Today

As much as I admire musclemen, all of whom are great athletes whose dedication I respect…but a lot of them aren’t that hot. It takes a long time to really develop mass, and so a lot of the more famous ones are older men.

There are a lot of sexy, handsome, chiseled studs with unbelievable physiques these days. They give us an Olympian ideal of strength combined with masculinity and traditional, classical handsomeness. In short, they’re guys with the whole package.



7. Brett Mycles

I like my men the way I like my steaks: beefy and All-American.

(I don’t eat meat anymore, but just...go with it.)


That’s Brett Mycles, or should I say Rob Sager: he’s the studliest, cutest jock you ever knew in high school.

If you ever want to see a good looking guy, just rent some gay porn. There’s lots of yaoi sensuality as a bonus factor. It’s always depressed me how in straight porn, none of the men are ever good looking. I suspect this is because of homophobia: most straight men wouldn’t want to have an accidental “gay” moment.

Unfortunately, Brett Mycles’s story doesn’t have a happy ending: he died in his thirties back in 2006, leaving his family, girlfriend and others. He’s doing wet, shirtless pictorials for the Angels now in beefcake Heaven.


Incidentally, I’ve already picked out my own porn name: Carmen Tangier. They ought to give me a call next time they want to do “The World’s Naughtiest Psychology Grad Students.”


6. Chris Jalali


He’s so cute!

I never read Tiger Beat, ever, as I had dignity and wasn’t the sort to get swept up with the crowd. But Chris Jalali activates the atavistic part of my brain remaining from my middle school girl ancestors.

The best part about Chris Jalali are his cute little nipples. They’re like tiny saucers. I could lick them all night.



5. Deidre Pagnanelli



I’m not just including the Italian-born Deidre as the “token” female on this list, but out of sheer astonishment at how well this beautiful Mediterranean woman can smoulder. Remember "Big Dragon II?" She's a dead ringer for how I pictured the post-ring Morgan.

4. Paul Telfer




God Bless Scotland!

The thing I like the best about the Brad Pitt-gorgeous Paul Telfer is his rough quality. He has a muscular build that's rough and blue collar. You just know he won't be gentle in bed: he'll throw you on the bed and take advantage of you like the handsome, big brute he is.






3. Sagi Kalev


Here’s what astonishes me the most about “Mr. Israel” Sagi Kalev: they never did the single most obvious pictorial to do, namely, “Man In Uniform.” He’s not just a dark, chiseled guy that looks like Dylan MacDermott with a Herculean brickhard build, he’s an honest-to-goodness war hero in the Gulf.

I’m sure Sagi Kalev’s got what it takes to please all the size queens too, male and female. It looks like he keeps a live guinea pig in his trousers.


2. Denis Sergovisky


It’s an interesting thing about Denis: anybody that’s ever criticizes his appearance generally says something like “he’s too perfect.” Well, I’m of the opinion that you can never be too perfect, along with being too rich or too thin.

“Blue-Eyed Beast” just doesn’t cover it. He’s so good looking, so perfect, you have trouble accepting what you see as real.



1. Ulisses Williams Jr.

Oh, come on. Could #1 really be anybody else?


He’s like something out of an episode of Desperate Housewives: a personal trainer for successful women. In a lot of film studies, they argue that the reason movie stars are so successful is because they’re “a reconciliation of opposites.” For instance, Will Smith’s success is due to the fact he can be goofy, yet sexy at the same time. Marylin Monroe was approachable and a goddess at the same time.





Ulisses Williams on the other hand, combines two qualities that would otherwise be contradictory. He’s handsome and sophisticated and stylish, but he also has a heat and grind like a male stripper. The man is nothing short of sex personified, a black Adonis with the body of a Hercules.

Of all the physiques I’ve ever seen, Ulisses Williams is the most astonishing. Healthy, strong, without roid bloat, natural, with delineated abs, he looks like something a genetic scientist would create, with his wide wingspan back, delineated chicklet muscles around the abs, and glistening, flawless dark skin. If I had to create my perfect man, it would be someone very much like Ulisses Williams Jr.

3 comments:

charvolth said...

There is straight porn out there with handsome men, I generally like watching my straight porn with both sides being easy on the eyes.

Right now the most easily attainable would be playgirl's films, granted you won't find muscular physiques, generally toned and sculpted, the porn actor Jean Val Jean was rather prolific before trying to break into mainstream films.

I made a point of finding the films of a model who posed in playgirl named Danny Celeya, he also went under the name Sean Ryder for Gay Porn and Steve Strong for straight, I was able to find one of his straight films, Two Hearts.

If you like more vintage fare there are the films of Francois Papillion, who later in his career married Kascha, probably one of the most exotic porn starlets ever. They did a series of films together called Hawawai Vice, you might find it cheap on re-issued DVD's or streamed, they were done in the 80's.

I hope this helps

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with both comments by MOS and E. Chris Jalai has that rare quality of a truly beautiful mouth. Contrast that with his steel body and....yeah. I didn't need to finish that thought, did I? And the idea of Paul Telfer being a sexy brute- fabulous!~ Rairf

Devin said...

Chris Jalali is hotter than a Turkish sauna! Thanks!