Ladies that love muscle guys

As much as I'd like to take credit for inventing the whole idea, lots of women have historically loved muscle men. The greatest lady muscle-lover of all time was sexpot Mae West, who popularized the support of bodybuilding by surrounding herself with a troupe of bumping-and-grinding musclemen that were part Arnold and part Chippendale's Dancer. Mae West loved to popularize the idea she had sex with all of her harem of muscle guys. You go, girl!

My Grandfather lived in Cuba in the 1950s and 1960s, and he remembers Mae West and her muscle revues as being really big over there. Mae West's popularity in decadent, Pre-Communist Cuba is not hard to understand: she was meaty looking and kind of a whore.

Then you've got Maria Shriver, wife of the governator, who used to thrill when she rode his motorcycle and got to clutch Ahhnold's huge granite-hard sleeve-busting arms. She loved him for his body, which is the only thing I can think of that could make ME ever marry a Republican. :D

Incidentally, one of the above photos is of Maria Shriver, and the other is of cartoon supervillain Skeletor. I honestly can't tell the difference, so maybe you can. Both Skeletor and Maria Shriver can be banished with the Power of Grayskull.

And finally, we have the Incredible Hulk's girlfriend, Betty Ross, played by the daughter of that flyweight geriatric ghoul, Steven Tyler.

I wonder if she ever asked David Banner to turn into the Incredible Hulk for the muscle sex. On the bright side, every kind of sex with the Hulk would be make-up sex, wouldn't it?

I love the Incredible Hulk. He's got that "angry at the world" attitude you'd expect from a James Dean. He's a sexy monster, sort of like the Gargoyles or that hard-abbed demon Chernobog from Disney's FANTASIA.

The incredible West African born Ulisses Williams Jr. has a physique and a look in general that is nothing short of unbelievable and jaw-dropping. But he's not only a natural, sleek bodied ebony superstud, he's also a complete fantasy, what with those dreads of his that look powerful and virile as a lion's mane, or his exotic accent, or his very name, "Ulisses." Even the NAME is sexy and superhuman!


Visit his official website here.




According to his website he's no longer competing because he's a "fitness consultant for celebrities," which is one the best euphemisms I've heard for for "giggolo." :-)

Not all men look good in speedos, but Ulisses Jr., well...see down for yourself. No, the picture has not been photoshopped in any way.

Story Reviews: Sk8r Dreams

Sk8r Dreams Part 1

I can't say enough good things about "Sk8r Dreams," which is definitely worth a second look. The story is about a young kid that discovers a computer disk with a sim-like program that turns him into a super alpha male, in his own words, a 6'6", 300 pounder. In the story's own words:

So what did he want? Someone who would be hell popular, did all the stuff he wished he could do, and was really cool. He went into personality and turned his character into a real extrovert, strong willed and extremely likable. Then he went into prefences, he got stuck for a while. Then he decided to have a gay character, very interested in guys, rap and skating. He gave his sim knowledge about computers, skateboards, sex, and few other things he thought might be useful. Then he bumped the IQ up to 160. He also bumped up the sim's sexual prowess and desires. James saved all his changes and went back to the main screen. He pressed the begin button, only as he was pressing it did he glance at the 'cheap' graphic that had been pushed to the side by the options. It was a perfect image of him, cept the clothes the image was wearing were different from his own. A tupac tee-shirt, baggy 3/4 pants, a heavy chain ran from a belt loop down his pants, and he assumed into his back pocket. This brief observation took place in a second.

The sexiest part of the story is the streetwise, brassy attitude, exploring punk and skater subcultures with a muscle twist. It has a definite place and location, which is a great strength of it. If you ever want to get your subculture associated with sex, just get your guys to work out with hardcore iron! In that sense, Sk8r Dreams does for skaters what the Firefighters Calendar does for firefighters.

The best element, the one I thought was the most innovative, was the idea of the GUI that lets you change your character around. Sk8r Dreams wasn't the first to have this, but it was the best, in the sense that it made the main character very different.

Stories with high school age protagonists are interesting in that they seem to have this axis of Jock and Nerd. You're either one or the other. This, incidentally, is a very jock way of looking at High School: you're either one of them or a "fag." More stories should be about the rest of the gang: punks, goths, stoners, and the rest.

Predictably enough, our hero proceeds to go on and live the dream: get himself a harem of gay muscleboys.

If there is any critique, it is that the worst punishment any character could receive is to be transformed into a woman. Bros before hos, huh? Guys start off life hating girls, and that doesn't change, they just get horny.

Still, a very endearing element of this story is the palpable feeling this is the author's fantasy come to life. In one part, a character says 'Hello there, nice shoes wanna fuck?' which he always wanted to say," you can almost feel the author, behind his monitor, going "tee hee hee."

Indiana Jones and the Disk of the Fangirl

The release of INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL coincides with my discovery of several 3 1/2" floppies from my years in High School. I found some stories on there, most of which were so bad that I'd laugh at them if it wasn't for the fact they were written by ME, albeit at age sixteen.

(Actually, I have a good sexy, romantic one set in the Stone Age with a cave stud that has potential...I could rewrite it maybe. My peepz over at musclegrowth.org would eat it like candy.)

One of the pieces I had on there was a particularly goofy piece of Indiana Jones fanfiction where I gushed about Harrison Ford's "hard chest" and his "musky aftershave." Hehehehe. I could picture my braces-filled metal smile as I told my stuffed animals how much tongue I'd give Harrison Ford on the first date.

I'm not going to repost any of it here, out of shame (hey, we were all sixteen once). But there was one fascinating ballroom dancing scene where Harrison wore the white tux from TEMPLE OF DOOM. The sex was...well, you can imagine. Lots of histrionics and bursting fireworks. In marked contrast to the almost gynocological way I describe sex now that I'm a bitter, worldly chain-smoker that's slightly pissed at men.

But I do love Harrison Ford. He hasn't aged a day for me. Roger Ebert put it best when he said Ford didn't get older, he just got frownier. Ford was one of the big influences on me becoming a fan of muscle men, because of how pumped and fit and big and rugged he was, especially in TEMPLE OF DOOM, where the credits listed "Body By Jake's" as the guys responsible for Harrison Ford.

I don't know who I liked best: bad boy Harrison Ford as Han Solo, or rugged outdoorsy Harrison Ford as Indy.

Big Dragon definitely shows an influence of both: he's rugged like Indy, but roguish and a scoundrel like Han Solo. There was one line in BG that was especially Harrison Fordish: he slips a gun to Morgan and with a wink says, "It's rough out there, kid."

As for the movie itself: KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL is one of the best adventure movies I've seen in years. It's because of Spielberg's direction; he's still the auteur film school director he was in the seventies. He shows action by moving the camera, instead of the frenetic Hong Kong style. The story was very involved and in the classic Indy style. I'm particularly glad about the return of the fear/horror elements that faded to the background during LAST CRUSADE. Although this time, they've changed with the times: Indy's 50s menaces are more paranormal and psychic than occult.

Replacing the Nazi mania for the supernatural is the Russian obsession with psychics, UFOs, and ancient astronauts. The main villainess, a supercool dominatrix, is hinted at being one of the "remote viewers" that the KGB used in an attempt for psychic spying.

The best sequence in the entire movie is one where Indiana Jones wanders onto an atomic bomb test site. It was a great exploration of Indy's mortality. With that scene, we realize in a flash that the Indiana Jones that beat the Nazis was no match for the Cold War and Atomic Age. If the film has any drawbacks, it would be that this fascinating idea wasn't really explored.

Other than that, this movie sticks to its pulp inspirations pretty well. There were a few scenes right out of Leigh Brackett's writing (one sequence, no spoilers but you'll know it when you see it, seemed lifted from Brackett's NEMESIS FROM TERRA). Another scene involving giant ant swarms was seemingly borrowed from Lester Dent's Doc Savage novel, FEAR CAY. Though Lester Dent wrote his scene with his usual panache: the horde of ants "had an odor like vinegar" and sounded like "the sizzle of ten pounds of bacon."

And case anybody is wondering, yes, there is a scene where Harrison Ford does take his shirt off. He's got great muscles for a man his age. I haven't seen a guy's built look good since Reg Park.

Artist Roundup: MuscleLicker

This guy hits my two big buttons: muscles, jungle men, and Ancient Greece. His work speaks for itself, but the caption for the above image is terrific:

_{The lion is perhaps the king of the animals, but this imposing white one is simply no match against the blond and giant jungle man...}

That'll teach you a thing or two, animal kingdom!

Also: nice hair, blonde jungle giant. What's your conditioner?


My caption for this one: SPROING!

Visit his gallery here.

Artist Roundup: Artistic18b

Artistic18b is an artist that shows a lot of romance and sensitivity. He does a lot of furry art, and has a few of the hang-ups we've come to know from furry artists, who as a rule, tend to like weird things (Japanese culture, insanely busty fox girls, male artists drawing themselves as female).

Still, his art has a sketchy, dreamlike quality, and nobody can draw hot, cute shirtless boys like he can.


He's also very Christian. Now, I don't have a problem with that at all, but still...it's weirdly interesting to see pictures like "Jesus Loves Puerto Rico" where a cross is wrapped with the Puerto Rican flag, surrounded by playmate-bodied catgirls, shirtless muscle boys, and fan art of Wolverine and Metroid. (Though the "Christian Ninja" and "Jesus Loves our Troops" pics have to be seen to be believed.)


By the way, in case any of you are wondering, no, I'm not a furry. I think it would be more accurate to say I'm a "furry groupie." I love a gorgeous tiger guy with hard abs.

Visit his gallery here.

The best looking men in the world

I've often wondered what group of men are the world's greatest lovers.

Italians are a popular choice, naturally. I've seen enough Federico Fellini movies to know this is and isn't the case, but then again most of my daydreams involve a brawny, rich Italian Count who drives a sportscar.

But then, I'm going to have to go with the Scottish. Kilts are a great way to spot good knees.

For instance, Paul Telfer. What strikes me about this boy-toy is how his physique seems so very, well, blue collar, like he's the best looking construction worker in the world.

When I turn forty, I'm probably going to leave my husband for a 20-year old pool boy with pecs that can crack walnuts between them. But it seems that Paul Telfer, who by the way is bisexual (ZOOOOOOOOOOM! Hot hot hot!) has a thing for Cougars: his girlfriend is a theater actress decades his senior.

All I got to say is, you go grrl!



I met Mike O'Hearn once and only once, around the time his show "Battledome" was on the air, and he was speaking at my university in New York (I was an undergrad at this time). He was very big, very godlike - he seemed to fill up the whole room. There was a noticeable DING sound when he smiled. Funny how, when meeting him, the most astonishing thing is how white his teeth are.

I went up to shake his hand afterward. I had a copy of 1984 under my arm that I was reading at the time. In a very friendly way, he smiled and asked me what I was reading. I said, "Oh! Just 1984."

Then he said, "Cool. Is that about the Zodiac?"

...Well, okay, so he's no Einstein. But he's got abs of steel! Mike's a one in a million: he has a look like a soap opera hunk, and the huge hard body of a Greek statue. Mike O'Hearn, he's got a body like a mythological character, like Achilles or Siegfried. Mike, incidentally, would be my choice for Achilles in a movie about Homer, though the always-beautiful Brad Pitt was a surprisingly good pinch hitter.

Here's a terrific video of Mike O'Hearn in tight cutoff jean shorts!

Artist Roundup: RyuAtrineas

You know, ever since I read Funbird's "Emil" (one of the best muscle growth stories ever) I loved the idea of a muscle guy with vaguely effemenate features but a big, powerful body.

And I like elf guys. Hey, who doesn't, right?

Enter RyuAtrineas, who does Legend of Zelda fan art, especially of his own brawny character.

You know, I vaguely remember the Ocarina of Time game...I was never a big video gamer (and my moderate interest in them became pathological dislike when I dated a gamer) but mostly I remember that your elf guy was pretty cute...though there was one level, I think, where you had to go through a hedge labyrinth and it was guarded by giant pig-faced ogres that knocked you into pools if they saw you.

Now, right then, I had an image of your cute elf guy...well, what if he was as tall as those ogres? Shoulders as wide? And what if instead of getting knocked back, he met their charge and smacked the ogre down flat?

Of course, if he had a body like Ryo, I think I'd have paid more attention.

Visit his DeviantArt gallery here.

Huh, I guess Princess Zelda was a size queen. She's in good company, but who knew?

Muscle, Politics, Race and Culture

One person I keep in touch with a Filipino-American fan of BIG DRAGON, who said he loved that story because it was one of the few stories with an Asian muscle stud main character. The fact there are so few MGS stories with an Asian central character may be due to unfair stereotypes.

There are lots of great Asian muscle studs, like the incredible Ken Ichi Suemitsu from the 1970s (what definition! He looked like Zane), and ENTER THE DRAGON side-character Bolo Yeung, who wasn't sexy so much as he was bone-crunchingly scary.

I will admit, I do like Asian guys; they have a cute, exotic appearance that's very sexy. They look GOOD with muscles. In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, "if I like their race, how does that make me racist?"

The political and social dynamics of sexuality in our culture are a really interesting topic. A lot of websites, notably Bitter Asian Men, have railed about how there's a double standard with Asians: Asian women are generally sexualized and fetishized due to stereotypes of being perfect and submissive, whereas Asian men are usually portrayed as nonthreatening and unmasculine nerds, like the loveable (and cute!) Hiro from HEROES or that absurd William Hung.

(By the way, visiting Bitter Asian Men is no longer any fun since they got rid of that logo with the crying panda bear.)

What I found interesting about Bitter Asian Men is the idea that there is, in fact, some complex cultural causes for the stereotype that some Asian guys don't get girls. Asian cultures emphasize the importance of boys, and the value of education, and so a great many Asian boys are consequently undersocialized in their early years. It's very hard to make up for lost time.

Part of the reason I made Big Dragon Asian was BECAUSE making an Asian guy a supersocialized muscle stud is seldom done, so it's a good way to make the story stand out. I hope I don't disappoint anybody, but the idea Big Dragon would be Asian (even the name Big Dragon itself) was all 11th hour and came to me as I had already outlined the story.

Playwright David Henry Hwang, author of my favorite guilty pleasure TV movies of all time, THE LOST EMPIRE, wrote a play about Asian women and white guys that like them, ASIAN PRIDE PORN. David Henry Hwang cast Bai Ling in THE LOST EMPIRE. Bai Ling of course, defies parody, and may be the female David Hasselhoff in terms of sheer cheese factor.


Likewise, another cultural/sexual phenomenon I find interesting are white women that are really, really into black men. (And why not?) What's interesting is, black guys are sexualized as being muscular or having muscles.

The very BEST story, written by a female author about her fantasy of a black male Adonis, would be Blacklion, on literotica. It's one of the best paens to a muscular male I've ever read.

Blacklion is one of my favorite erotic stories, and if I accidentally plagiarize it, I hope it is interpreted as fangirlish respect.

On Literotica:

Blacklion Part 1

The Big Dragonverse

Disappointingly enough, not many people have picked up on the fact that most of my erotic fiction and muscle stories are actually set in the same universe and there is a lot of give-and-take between the stories.

Each story contributed one big element.

BIG DRAGON kicked the whole thing off, gets everybody off into the swing of things, and introduced the idea of the reality-changing rings.

CONFESSIONS OF A MUSCLE STUD GROUPIE, among other things, introduced the idea of Beast-Gods, the weird ancient history of the universe, and the mystery-project headed by the as yet unknown Tsarina. It also gave the first clues as to the Big Dragon rings' origins.

ARMS OF STEEL: THE LOST CRUSADE gave us Teddy Roosevelt (a major figure whose backstory was hinted at), the nation of Rupalistan, and discussed the idea of the "Dreamtime." It also established that Emil, from Funbird's story, is definitively in the "Big Dragonverse."

MY BOYFRIEND IS A BARBARIAN! has a connection to the rest of the stories that is, as yet, unrevealed but will be more apparent as the serial story continues.

BIG DRAGON III, BIG DRAGON: MODERN THESEUS is a story in progress, and has many more connections to the rest that are as yet unrevealed. This is where everything gets put together. There are connections to ARMS OF STEEL, not just a casual mention of Rupalistan.


One might argue all this is unecessary for what are, basically, fuck stories about muscle gods. Maybe that's true...but the sex stories I always liked were ones like Morpheus. Now, I don't share his fetish for transfer, but Morpheus wrote the best fetish fiction around, because he had stories with a definite beginning, middle and end, long-term development, and he had surprising, unpredictable characters. I said to myself, "hey, I'd like to write stories like that."

Artist Roundup: Chocomus

Here's one guy that knows how to draw man beefcake, Spanish artist Chocomus. See his gallery here:

http://s126.photobucket.com/albums/p117/chocomus/?start=all

The thing I like about Chocomus is, not only how cute and good looking he draws his guys, but how he gets their proportions: small waists, ox-huge virile units. The best thing he draws are butts, bubbly and big - he's one of the best butt artists around for muscle guys! For instance:

Not bad!