Friday, June 20, 2008

Rob Schneider: Muscle Growth Hero?


When I have to summarize the plot of a muscle growth story, a great many of them sound like plots for a Rob Schneider movie. It doesn't help that Rob Schneider himself generally looks like the Omega Male "before" in a muscle growth story.


In fact, I've noticed when reviewing stories, I start to sound like that hilarious South Park fake Rob Schneider trailers. "Derp de derpity derp da derp. Until one day derp de derp...a teetily tum! Da derp dee derp teetlee derpee dumb!"


(It's interesting to note that after that parody, Rob Schneider never really got another starring movie. There's such a thing as a parody that was so spot-on that what it parodied was torpedoed forever. I know I can't take seriously RENT after "Everybody Has AIDS.")


In fact, a lot of muscle growth stories do come off as Rob Schneider movies. Something weird happens to a guy that's barely explained, and he's transformed. Except instead of turning into an animal or a carrot or whatever, and used for comedy, it's all about the sexuality.


In fact, it occurs to me if Hollywood ever DID make a muscle growth story, it would be done not as a sexy transformation story but as a comedy.




I think it's also worth noting that the very studly, virile Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (the only good looking professional wrestler in history) looks like a sexy, muscular, grown version of Rob Schneider. Coincidence...?

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