Friday, August 8, 2008

Muscle Growth: the Video Game



I've never been a big video gamer, except when my brother had an original Nintendo and he suffered the indignity of his baby sister kicking his ass at Tetris and Kid Icarus. But "Altered Beast" was brought to my attention by a friend and it is definitely worth a look as it is apparently the muscle growth video game. As an intriguing historical footnote, "Altered Beast" was the game the original Sega Genesis came with prior to Sonic the Hedgehog.


The premise of the game is (and I swear to God I am not making a word of this up) you play a guy that is commanded by Zeus to rise from the grave to save his daughter, Athena, from a demon that dragged her to hell. I haven't seen this level of insane juxtaposition since HERCULES AGAINST THE MONGOLS, which was about as historically accurate as ABRAHAM LINCOLN AGAINST THE MONGOLS.


But it gets better. The premise of the game is that you kill two-headed dogs to steal energy balls (!) that cause you to simultaneously grow muscles and lose more clothing, until you're a massive, powerhouse Mr. Universe with 300-style red man-panties (Mommy likes!). I have no idea if this game has a gay subtext, but then again there's a scene where a naked greased up muscleman in a speedo fights a unicorn so I'm going with a big YES. In the end, your character rescues Athena from the underworld as a werewolf and the two are shown in love and married (I have the furries' full attention now, I see). So I guess the game should be called "Altered Beastiality."

Watch a playthrough of the first level so you see I'm not lying.


1 comment:

chocosugoi said...

this game was one of my first steps into the muscle growth world.
It was so cool back then. I can imagine a great remade with so cool new graphics