Monday, August 4, 2008

My Crushes

Even though this blog is dedicated to muscular guys, I don't just like muscle studs. In fact, there are a whole mess of guys and gals I think I hot.


Sean Connery



My all-time favorite Sean Connery movie has to be DARBY O'GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE, where Sean Connery sings and dances tunes like "My Pretty Irish Girl." It has to be seen to be believed.



The reason I consider this to be a totally Sean Conneryesque movie is because in this film, at the start of his career, Sir Sean was trying to be Dick van Dyke, only with a little more sex appeal. Yet even in the family-friendly Darby O'Gill where he was trying his darndest to be squeaky clean, Connery played a character that was very "dirty" and had too much of an intensely dark "bad" sex appeal. It was sort of like watching a porn star play Snow White.


Michael J. Fox



Hey, who didn't have a crush on Michael J. Fox? He's the cutest, ultimate guy next door. Sure, he's not tall, but I'm not weird about it. I'm five foot if I stretch, and I like the idea boys can come in bite-sized packages.

Unfortunately, this story doesn't have a happy ending. A few months ago, I was on the Upper East Side facing Central Park East, and I saw Michael J. Fox on Fifth Avenue. He looked about 60 years old, and I didn't recognize him at first. After seeing him, I had to go into a coffee place, have a good cry. What's especially insulting are the people that claim Michael J. Fox is faking his illness. I tell you, he's not faking anything, not a bit. I wish him the best in fighting Parkinson's.


Oded Fehr



One of the most dashing, handsome, heroic sort of leading man, Oded Fehr is every ten year old girl's dream of a handsome prince. By far the most attractive part of Oded Fehr is his voice: foreign accented, romantic. Recently, though, Oded Fehr cut his gorgeous long hunk hair, which is immensely depressing and actually emasculating.



Geena Davis


One theme I've wanted to explore for some time is the idea that, with same-sex attraction, there's a very blurred line between desire for someone and desire to BE someone. I guess it's like that with me and Geena: I want to BE her. I want to have my face shaped like hers and have a cute little dimpled chin and be over six feet tall (no, seriously).


Patricia Vazquez



I don't exactly have a crush on her, but I do respect her immensely. Every story I've ever heard about Patricia Vazquez raises my estimation of her.



The first time I saw her is in THE MUMMY (which incidentally, also gave the world Oded Fehr). She had a grand total of five minutes of screen time, but she made an impression. Every single trailer for the movie had her in body paint. In the flashback scenes to Ancient Egypt, it was obvious none of the actors really spoke a lick of Egyptian and they were reading their lines phonetically. All except for Pat - she spoke Egyptian like it was her native language. Now that I give the matter some thought, it was actually a little creepy.



Here's another Vazquez story: she had to play a corpse in THE MUMMY. Which is really a part better suited to Gwyneth Paltrow (oooooh, burn!). Anyway, she's supposed to be dead, and in part of the film a rat leaps from Oscar Winner Rachel Weisz onto her. There Pat lay, unmoving and dead as a corpse. Finally, the director shouted "cut!" And Pat immediately leaped up and started screaming. She had a deadly fear of rats!

And that's how Pat turned her one small part into a huge one come MUMMY RETURNS. Just goes to show what you can do with a little class and professionalism, and a whole lot of body paint.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Patricia Vasquez is indeed intriguing. Stuning actually. That Israeli guy could be a model for quite a few stories.